Thursday, April 23, 2015

HWX: Head Like a Hole

It’s a very special midweek edition of HWX, with Brian Ward of Fraters Libertas and Paul Happe of the Nihlist in Golf Pants reconvening to discuss the critical issues of our times.  Topics addressed include:

*  Spring has finally sprung in Minnesota,  info on pre-emergent crabgrass herbicide, a poetry reading, and questions about where the new leaves on the trees come from.

*  Positive evidence of global warming, and we feel fine about it.

* Hillary Clinton officially announces her Presidential run, and we offer our advice and demos for campaign theme song (with strategic appearances by Tammy Wynette, the Smiths, and Nine Inch Nails).

*  This Week in Gate Keeping – featuring PBS and the cover up of Ben Affleck’s notorious relatives and the New York Times blows an obituary.

*  A celebrity salute to Earth Day, with Mike Nelson.               

All feedback from Ricochet members welcome in the comments section.   Did you love the show?  Did you hate it?  Did it inspire boundless waves of apathy?  We want to know!  Hope you enjoy (but we can’t be sure).

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Top 11 Iranian Concessions In Obama's Nuclear Deal

11. Replace future references to "Death to America" with calls to "fundamentally transform America"

10. Reduce carbon footprint associated with the stoning of infidels by half by 2050

9.  Lots of pistachios

8.  Iran agrees to allow one nuclear inspector (provided it is Joe Wilson)

7.  Massive donation to The Clinton Global Initiative

6.  Will relative US of burden of military leadership on middle east

5.  Will force all Iranian pizza parlors to cater all Iranian gay weddings 

4.  John Kerry granted windsurfing rights in Iranian territorial waters

3.  Will help hold Russia in check by buying up much of their advanced military hardware

2.  Agrees to behead two Christians for every homosexual executed

1.  Will wait until a Republican is President before nuking Israel

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Top 11 Suggested Tweets for Hillary's Presidential Candidacy Announcement

According to reports, sometime tomorrow @HillaryClinton will announce her candidacy for President of the United States via Twitter.  As a gesture of bipartisan cooperation, here are our suggested Tweets for the occasion.

11)  Ready for Hillary, or are you some sort of misogynist?  #noh8in2016

10)  Stick it to the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, one more time  #VoteHillary2016

9)  My husband was blown by an intern so I deserve this.

8)  If I have to spend time in Iowa for nothing again, there will be hell to pay. #NotAThreatAPromise

7)  Vote Hillary. At least you’ve heard of me.

6)  Give yourself over to the dark side. Use your anger as a weapon. #Vote Hillary!

5) My Republican opponent [FILL IN NAME] is an ignorant, hateful threat to our children.  #VoteHillary2016

4)  Time to #RESET the nation.

3)  It’s my turn, dammit!

2)  Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

1)  Vote for me for President.  At this point, what difference does it make?

Thursday, April 09, 2015

Spring Fever With Clark Griffith

HWXLogo
It’s a special midweek edition of HWX, with Brian Ward of Fraters Libertas and Paul Happe of the Nihilist in Golf Pants reconvening to discuss the critical issues of the day. Topics addressed include:
  • The looming tax deadline and the odds that we got our returns correct.
  • The looming announcement of Hillary Clinton’s presidential candidacy and our attempt to play by the Hillary rules of appropriate discourse.
  • the Indiana religious freedom imbroglio and the rapidly changing, and quickening pace of societal change.
  • The return of This Week in Gate Keeping with the Rolling Stone correction and lack of contrition.
We also talked some baseball with Minnesota’s grand man of the game, former Twins co-owner Clark Griffith. He opines on the current state of the game and reminisces about the old days with the Washington Senators and stealing items from Harry Truman’s desk
Please Support Ricochet by Supporting our Sponsors
swonlogoHWX is sponsored by Swon Tax Preparation. Need help with your taxes before April 15. Fear not, you are not alone. The fine folks at Swon Tax Prep will make time for you. Be it an individual return, a business return, whatever it may be, our friend Jon Swon can help. He offers a full suite of tax services, customized to meet your goals. He’s based here in MN, but has clients around the country. If you need help, check him out at SwonTaxPrep.com.
Go to Ricochet.com/hwx to become a member and get your first 30 days free. Listen at https://ricochet.com/podcasts/spring-fever-with-clark-griffith/ or at the sidebar.

Saturday, April 04, 2015

Top 11 Alternate Titles for Amy Klobuchar’s Memoir

Senator Amy Klobuchar's memoir is coming out later this year and her editors are going with the title The Senator Next Door: A Memoir from the Heartland.  We're not sure that is quite descriptive enough.  Here are our Top 11 other suggestions for the title to Amy Klobuchar's memoir:

11)  Don't Drink the Salad Dressing:  Pro Tips from the Senate Dining Room

10)  Pull My Finger:  The Wit and Wisdom of America’s Funniest Senator

9)  Boredom and the Boring Bores Who Bear It

8)  Senator Juggalo: My Love Affair with Insane Clown Posse

7)  The Unbearable Lightness of Beating Kurt Bills and Mark Kennedy

6)  Thanks Dad: On the Importance of Name Recognition in Winning Elections

5)  How To Win Friends And Influence People By Offering Nothing Of Substance

4)  If I Hear that Stupid Stuart Smalley Voice One More Time I Am Jamming this Gavel Down Franken's Throat

3)  Wuss: The Real Norm Van Broklin and How My Dad Kicked His Butt

2)  Profiles in Courage:  The War for America’s Heart and My Service as 4th Ranking Minority Member on the U.S. Senate Commerce Subcommittee on Surface Transportation and Merchant Marine Infrastructure Safety and Security

1) Nice and Bland: The Minnesota Recipe for Success

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

First Ever Top 111 List

Top 111 Words or Terms that Hillary Rodham Clinton has banned the media from mentioning during her Presidential Campaign:

1947
2008
50 shades of gray
50 Shades ofGrey
Accomplishments
Accountability 
Accounting
Afghanistan
Anti-christ
Atheist
Benghazi
Bill
Botox
Bubba
Cankles
Cattle futures
Chelsea
Cialis
Cleveland Steamer
Communist
Constitution
Controllinglegalauthority
Cookies
Corrupt
Cubs
Dementia
Democracy
Divorce
Drudge
Drunk
Egypt
Entitlement
Entitlements
Erectionlastinglongerthan4hours
Fellatio
Fembot
Fission
foggy bottom
Foreign contributions
Foundation
Fraters Libertas
Freedom
Freedom of Information Act
God
Gore
Gorilla Cookies
Hard drive
Hard on
Herpes
Hillarycare
Housing bubble
Huma
Hummer
Illegal
Iran
Iraq
Is
Israel
Keystone
Lewinski
Libya
Loretta Lynn
Mama Cass
MargaretHamilton
McCain
Net worth
NFLconcussionstudy 
North Korea
Obamacare
Obstructionofjustice
Orgywith DerekJeter
Paleface
Patriotism
Pig
Policy
Red
Reset
Rodham
Rude
Russia
Saudi 
Separation
Server
Sex island
Sexual Harrassment
Sham marriage
Socialist
Soros
Speaking fee
Stalinist
Steyer
Stinky pinky
Stroke
Subpoena
Taxes
TCP/IP
Teenage Sex Slave
Third term
Tipper
Travel office
Ukraine
Viagara
Walter White
Warren 
Water
Weener
White
Whitewater
Wiener
Yankees
Yemen

Friday, March 27, 2015

Top 11 Ways To Beat the 37-0 Kentucky Wildcat Basketball Team

11. Bring RICO charges against John Calipari

10. Put them in classrooms across campus before the game so they are disoriented and can't find their way to the arena

9.  Only allow field goals if the shooter can solve a 4th grade math problem

8.  Ban 1 and done players

7.  Let them into the NBA

6.  Tie one hand behind their backs

5.  Pass reasonable rules requiring student athletes to actually be students and athletes

4.  Audit bank accounts of players

3.  Sneak LeBron onto opposing team

2.  Run a lethal level of electric current on the rim (note to Sisyphus, I understand that this wouldn't work as they wouldn't be grounded, but sometimes it's hard to think of 11 ideas)

1.  Make them play a gutty Notre Dame team