Top 11 Reasons The Nihilist WAS Invited To My Bachelor Party

11. Hugh Hewitt and Lileks turned me down
10. He doesn't filch posts from Drudgereport.com
09. Someone had to bring the crank
08. His wife asked me reaaaally nicely
07. He makes those cute balloon animals
06. He has a car (I wasn't going to drive all that way!)
05. Our strict Affirmative Action policy
04. Coin flip. He won. Sorry Pink Monkeybird
03. He said that Pair O' Dice guy would kick my ass if I didn't
02. He doesn't talk about Able Danger
01. Sheer pity