Saturday, November 05, 2005

The Birth of the Kool-Aid Report Blog

To celebrate KAR's first birthday, here is our fourth parody of "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

The legend lives on from the MOB on down
Of the blog they call ‘The Kool-Aid Report
The blog it is said never lets moonbats live
When they write moron letters to duh Strib.

With an election done and Dubya with a fresh four,
Learned Foot surfed to a recap at Slate.
Among the wails and the trashin’ of the Johns
He found a piece by writer Jane Smiley.
Smiley was the pride of the moonbat lefty side
Writing novels and essays – but not read.
As moonbat essays go, it was dumber than most
Dissin’ the George Bush voters as stupid.
Learned Foot couldn’t believe the crap he had read
And said so to his good friend, V-Toed Bill.
And later that night a theory took hold
Could it be the Kool-Aid she’s been drinkin’?

The name of the blog made a resoundin’ sound
Kool-Aid guy came from photoshopping.
And none of the moonbats knew, but KAR did too,
T’was the Star Trib they’d soon be a fiskin’.
Moron letters come in an unending stream
The Strib and Jenitel were made for dissin’.
Then one sad day came a Nonmonkey show
On local Air America radio.

Learned Foot blogged on the Milwaukee election fraud
Weeks before Power Line told ya.
When football season came Foot gave you the winners
With almost godlike precision .
Their finest day, so the Elder did say, was
A bit called the Sisyphus Open Thread.
And one year ago today, on that Guy Fawkes Day
Came the birth of the Kool-Aid Report blog.

Does anyone know why they so seldom go
To Keegan’s for trivia on Thursday’s?
The bloggers all say they must be too afraid
Of their wives or losing to Fraters.
They did have one win with a trivia team
That had far too many members.
And all that remains is the sad faces and pain
Of the fans and the groupies and stalkers.

Learned Foot fisks, Dementee eats
Moonbats for breakfast, lunch, and for dinner.
Bill changed his name to Nihilist Wannabe
To keep KAR’s number one ranking.
And the Head of Alfredo Garcia
Is Mitch Berg’s outlet for “B” material.
And the bloggers go as the moonbat liberals all know
With that quote of Jane Smiley remembered.

In musty old PJs in a basement they blogged,
Exploding at Nonmonkey’s column.
The moonbats whined till they cried four times
For each man on the Kool-Aid Report blog.
The legend lives on from the MOB on down
Of the blog they call ‘The Kool-Aid Report
The blog it is said never lets moonbats live
When they write moron letters to duh Strib.

2 Comments:

Blogger LearnedFoot said...

I am in tears.

Thank you.

11:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice blog you got here. It would be great to read a bit more about that theme.
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9:07 AM  

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