Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Top 11 Changes In Store for St. Paul Under Mayor Chris Coleman

11. All White Castle restaurants will be converted into homeless shelters with special interview rooms for use by local columnists.

10. All streets will be renamed after Paul and/or Sheila Wellstone.

9. A special tax on bloggers fisking Laura Billings or Nick Coleman.

8. More puff pieces on the mayor from the local newspapers.

7. Swiftee, Mitch, and Brian “Woodbury” Ward will all be deported.

6. St. Paul will no longer be trading blood for oil.

5. Smoking will be banned in bars and restaurants.

4. A job retraining program will be instituted for bar and restaurant workers.

3. All contracts with Halliburton will be cancelled.

2. Fire stations will be moved adjacent to schools in case our schools start burning again.

1. Finally, St. Paul will have a mayor who despises the President and Governor.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You don't think that Randy Kelly despises Pawlenty and Bush right about now?

9:59 AM  
Blogger Sisyphus said...

Probably true

10:28 AM  
Blogger American Lung Association of Minnesota said...

You may have something there with #5....

11:41 AM  
Anonymous Minnesota Lung Association of America said...

And once we get #5, we can move on to banning sex, rock and roll, driving, spitting and golf, all of which are silent killers, too.

These are the good old days! Bringing in the sheep!

3:41 PM  
Anonymous Eva Young said...

Interesteng that Chris Coleman hasn't denounced Michele Bachmann.

3:42 PM  
Anonymous Eva Young said...

Curious..Bob the Lung has never denounced Michele Bachmann.

Is Bob actually a homophobic, cigar smoking theocrat?

And does he do his smoking in the closet wearing a Tinky Winky mask?

Developing....

Read my blog.

6:00 PM  
Blogger pinkmonkeybird said...

It appears that someone is misrepresenting Bob Moffit and the American Lung Association again.

Isn't that below the belt?

In any case, I hope #5 does come true. Us non-smokers are sick and tired of paying higher health costs because of the the hazards of second hand smoke.

6:47 PM  

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