Where To Live: End Of Discussion
Mitch and others have been debating which place is best to live: Chris Coleman’s St. Paul, suburbia, or in a dumpster behind a KFC. I think they’re all wrong. The best place to live is on your own Tahitian island. Here is my case:
9. Centralization - Being in the middle of the Pacific thousands of miles from the mainland has its disadvantages, but the commute isn’t bad if you have your own BBJ.
8. Döner - I like seafood.
7. Suburban Schools Suck, Too - Tahitian schools probably suck too, but I don’t have any kids.
6. Covenants - No one tells me what color sand to put on my beach.
5. Suburbs Fill Me With a Soul-Crushing Ennui – If anything, there isn’t enough soul-crushing ennui here on the island.
4. Massive Passive Aggression – Owning your own island == no neighbors.
3. Criminals Are Breakable - The only real crime problem around here is piracy, and that’s mostly moved on to Somalia.
2. It's The Only Home My Kids Know, and It's Not A Bad One – I don’t have any kids, but the trophy wives don’t seem to think it’s a bad home.
1. It's My City - You want history? Marlon Brando used to live on the next island over.
I do know what you St. Paulites are about to go through – Tahiti is administered by the French.