Sunday, May 07, 2006

Top 11 Ways Rochester is Preparing for Patrick Kennedy’s Rehab Stint At the Mayo Clinic

Have you heard that Patrick Kennedy is going into rehab at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota’s own Rochester? That means that various Kennedys could descend upon the berg to lend Patrick support. Unlike New Orleans, Rochester knows how to prepare for a disaster. Here are the top 11 ways Rochester’s city fathers are readying for the onslaught:

11. Gin deliveries will be diverted from Atomizer’s house to Rochester area bars

10. A wing will be added to John Hardy’s Barbecue

9. Shipment of hookers from Atlanta

8. Police will be briefed on where to drop off the various Kennedys

7. Bridge abutments will be reinforced

6. All women under 50 will be evacuated to Graham Arena

5. “Do Not Feed the Kennedys” signs will be posted around town

4. Public Service Announcements reminding residents not to ride with Kennedys

3. Since no Rochester native will do the job, illegal immigrants will be brought in to groom Teddy

2. Apache Mall’s name will be changed to less offensive “Tax and Spend Mall”

1. City ordinance prohibiting too-easy Kennedy jokes


Blogger kevin said...

Too funny. I've cross posted this in my
>Pat kennedy Round Up

10:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Which John Hardy's? There are 2 locations, you know.


6:56 PM  

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