Friday, September 15, 2006

Kids These Days

The other night I came across the bizarre movie, "Rock 'n Roll High School." It is the story of some no good kids who defy their elders in order to attend a concert by JB Doubtless' favorite group, the Ramones. The movie is so weird it is entertaining. It made me wonder how the title lyrics would change if the school in question were here in Minneapolis:

Wellstone International High School

Well I don't care about literacy
Paul, Paul, Paul Wellstone high school
Cause I'm learning diversity
Paul, Paul, Paul Wellstone high school
Learn not to call females chicks
Will not learn arithmetic
Wellstone International high school

Well the troops in Iraq should be out, you know
Paul, Paul, Paul Wellstone high school
Class protests the WTO
Paul, Paul, Paul Wellstone high school
I hate the math and science too
Alternate lifestyle taught in school
Wellstone International high school

No guns, Paul Wellstone high school
No guns, Paul Wellstone high school
No guns, Paul Wellstone high school
No guns, oh baby
No guns, oh baby
No guns! No guns!
Wellstone International high school

Well yeah I don't care about history
Paul, Paul, Paul Wellstone high school
Cause it's a bit too white for me
Paul, Paul, Paul Wellstone high school
Learn America is bad
Christian morals just a fad
Wellstone International high school

No guns, Paul Wellstone high school
No guns, Paul Wellstone high school
No guns, Paul Wellstone high school
No guns, oh baby
No guns, oh baby
No guns! No guns!
Wellstone International high school
Wellstone International high school
Wellstone International high school

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for my first verbal guffaw of the day. Especially welcome when one is home with ill children.

8:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All those morons a busy making their umpteen zillionth knockoff of "American Pie" and "Porky's" should commit R'nR HS to memory. That was a fun movie.

Oh, yeah - and it featured a young PJ Soles. Rowr.

Oh, and the Ramones? They utterly refute JB's theory about punk rock. They're about as dark, dingy and threatening as the Beach Boys (whom the Ramones idolized), and like the Beach Boys had one prominent Republican member (Johnny Ramone, who gloriously pissed off the entire R/R and Hollywood communities by accepting his R'nR Hall of Fame induction with "God Bless America, and God Bless Ronald Reagan!".

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Recently named number 18 on EW's list of 50 best high school movies ever made.

7:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wouldn't start a band if I were you.

Plus, there's already a song for conservatives by the the Ramones. It's called "The KKK Took My Baby Away".

4:40 PM  

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