Live Blog: The Final Episode of the O.C

“The End’s Not Near, it’s Here” That is the fitting title of tonight’s final episode of “The OC”. It could have just as easily been called “Sorry We Had to Go and Ruin a Once Great Show through Our Stupid Casting and Plotting Decisions”.

But I don’t want to just dwell on the negative in this live blog. It never got so that I took it off my Tivo. I could write a Bogus Doug – American Idol lengthed post on how they turned the once great character of Summer into just another stupid whiny hippie college student, or how they killed off their two best characters Kirsten’s wealthy businessman father, Caleb, and the smoking hot Mischa Barton. I could go on about how the Ryan and Taylor romance has less chemistry than Al Gore’s college transcript, or about how the Sandy/Kirsten pregnancy is so “I need a ratings boost, oh, I know, let’s add a baby sister for Seth and Ryan”, but tonight let’s also remember the good times. Summer and Marissa laying out by the pool, nasty, rich water polo players making the mistake of picking a fight Ryan, Summer and Marissa sunbathing by the pool, the legendary pool party fights, and of course Summer and Marissa in bikinis.

8:00 PM: Here we go!

8:02 PM: We've jumped ahead six months. They just had to have Kristen give birth to the kid. Why don't they just jump ahead another ten years and have the kid start dating. Also Ryan and Taylor have broken up, Taylor's back in France where she belongs. The Cohens are living with the Coopers after their house was destroyed in last week's earthquake. Julie Cooper and the rich Bullit are getting married after she jilted him a few episodes back. Normally I like rich characters, but not so much Bullit. Oh, and Seth and Summer are now married. I thought we spent the last few episodes discovering why they couldn't get married anytime soon? [CORRECTION: they actually aren't married yet at this point]

8:03 PM: We find out the Cohen's house is totaled and can't be rebuilt.

8:04 PM: Opening credits. The OC still has the same great opening song and montage -- one thing the producers didn't see fit to ruin.

8:07 PM: Uh, oh, Summer is pining over the seals she's no longer saving. Could this be trouble in the marriage? If so, they will only have 53 minutes to resolve it.

8:08 PM: Taylor is back and rapid fire explains why she and Ryan broke up. I missed most of it while typing. I predict they're back together by the end of the episode (and series).

8:10 PM: Ryan just happens to be at the airport – says he no longer loves Taylor. But wait! That knowing glance back gives your heart away Ryan!

8:11 PM: Marissa’s younger, less hot, and less interesting sister is meeting her future step brothers, Bullitt’s 10 sons, all wearing cowboy hats and named after Texas cities (except for the Amer-asian son named Hanoi). We find out that Julie Cooper is pregnant with Bullit’s 13th son. Is everyone pregnant? How about Taylor and Summer?

8:13 PM: Commercial. Is Captain Ed also live blogging? Time for a quick check.

8:14 PM: Nope, that means this is the go-to live blog for OC fans.

8:15 PM: As a matter of fact, I am smarter than a fifth grader.

8:16 PM: Seth and Ryan are trying to buy the old Cohen homestead in Berkeley from a gay couple. So they can all be hippies! No more of that icky comfort of the OC! We can raise our new daughter in tie-dye diapers ! Everyone is much happier living in a run-down hippie house!

8:17 PM: Okay, I'm done venting about the Cohen's founding some sort of Berkeley commune. Bullit is going to fly Sandy and Kristen up to Berkeley in his private jet. If Bullit is so rich, why can't he come up with a better trophy wife?

8:18 PM: Self-referential moment! Summer: "You know those teen dramas, they just run forever." Taylor is afraid that Summer has drifted away from her hippie ways.

8:20 PM: Ha! That’s Bullitt with devil’s horns on the cover of the GEORGE environmental tract.

8:22 PM: Julie Cooper’s baby is Frank’s (Ryan’ ex-con father) but he bailed when he found out. Bullit agreed to step-in and marry Julie anyway.

8:24 PM: Gay couple still won’t sell the hippie commune, but Kirsten goes into labor there.

8:28 PM: Kid is here. Sophie Rose Cohen.

8:29 PM: Frank has shown up at the Julie/Bullitt wedding. I hope there is a fight, but I doubt it. The OC was mocked so much for the pool party fights they stopped doing them. But just because you’re mocked for something doesn’t mean you should stop doing it. Sometimes we mock because we love.

8:33 PM: Summer gives Julie locket of Marissa to wear at the wedding. “I know she would have wanted to be here today.” I’m sure the producers wish she were here today, too.

8:34 PM: Wedding is moving to Berkeley so Kirsten will be there. They are getting married in the gay commune. It turns out one of the gay couple was the midwife who delivered Kirsten’s kid and the other was a wedding planner!

8:36 PM: Taylor goes with the wedding party to Berkeley. She is going to say goodbye for good to Ryan, but they have sex instead.

8:37 PM: The wedding. Oh, the shock! Here comes Frank to break it up!

8:38 PM: Ha! He went to the old wedding location in the OC, not the new one in Berkeley (why didn’t he just go up to Berkeley with everyone else – he had shown up at the church earlier). Instead he calls on the cell phone, is put on speaker and declares that HE wants to marry Julie and be the baby’s father. (Asside to St. Paul: This is why cell phones should not be allowed at weddings.) Julie has to think it over.

8:39 PM: Gay couple agrees to sell the commune. Probably figured it was the only way to get rid of everyone. Julie about to announce her decision – cliffhanger over the commercial break.

8:44 PM: Julie decides to marry no one. Maybe go back to school. I know, go to Berkeley! And live in the commune.

8:46 PM: Summer takes off to become an environmentalist hippie. Loooooong goodbye to Seth.

8:51 PM: Will Ryan and Seth hug goodbye? What is this, the last episode of MASH?

8:53 PM: Flashback to the good old early days of Ryan’s arrival in Newport.

8:54 PM: Closing montage of what happens to the characters in the future. Sandy is teaching law, probably at Berkeley. Julie Cooper graduates, both Frank and Bullit are there, Seth and Summer get married (little sister looks about 5, Taylor is still around). Ryan is an architect, sees criminal looking kid who reminds him of himself, asks him if he needs any help. The big Pay it Forward finish.

Well that’s it. It was a nice run (for abut two seasons, anyway).

This live blog, like the OC, is over.