Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Top 11 Things Causing Al Gore to Spend $30K a Year on Electricity

11) Suspects Leonardo DiCaprio may be stalking him, sleeps with lights on

10) Cooking for frequent houseguest Michael Moore

9) Attempting to create a habitat for polar bears displaced by melting icebergs in spare bedroom

8) Refuses to insulate servants quarters

7) His refrigerator door is opened way too much

6) Allows his Hollywood friends to use his outlets to charge their electric cars

5) Aspires to the lavish life of John Edwards

4) Hydroponic "vegetable"-growing hobby in basement

3) The radar jamming equipment used to thwart Bush and Cheney’s mind control attempts draws a lot of juice

2) Does his best thinking about global warming while in the sauna

1) Dozens of supercomputers running 24 hours a day in hopes of creating a virtual personality

1 Comments:

Anonymous no controlling legal authority said...

His lab where he's inventing the "next internet" requires a lot of juice

Alarm system for the lockbox where he keeps his social security stash

Uses world largest projector for Power Point presentations

Tipper's constantly blasting Twisted Sister on stereo system

2:51 PM  

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