Top 11 Discoveries By Doctors During President Bush's Colonoscopy

11. You seen one, you've seen 'em all

10. That the Secret Service really is ALWAYS on the job

9. Remnants of pretzel he choked on

8. Puppetmaster Dick Cheney's hand

7. Significant similarities between the the sphyncter and most members of the mainstream media

6. Their job is even less fun when their patient enjoys Mexican food

5. Cap'n Ed's lip prints

4. One less gerbil than they found in Richard Gere's recent scoping

3. The origin of the administration's immigration policy

2. The President was considerably less enthusiastic about the procedure than Barney Frank was

1. Chunks of guys like Harry Reid in his stool