Thursday, May 08, 2008

Top 11 Ideas to Get the Star Tribune Out of Bankruptcy

11) Sell corporate sponsorships for columns and features. For example: "The Letter of the Day, brought to you by Pepto Bismal"

10) Get George Soros to pick up salaries by enlisting all reporters as Minnesota Monitor "Journalstic Fellows"

9) Liquidate account set aside for funding party after winning Pulitzer Prize

8) Stop paying taxes; if caught, blame it on accountant

7) Have Nick Coleman write a column urging readers to send in notebooks and pens because our newspapers are burning

6) Restrict restaurant critic to reviewing only items on the McDonald's Dollar Menu

5) Steal confidential data from the Pioneer Press and use it to gain competitive advantage (oops, already tried that)

4) Replace editorial board with a daily statement from DFL Chairman Brian Melendez

3) Go into partnership with local fish market as wrapping supplier of choice

2) Lobby state government to take over Strib and rename it "Minnesota Public Newspaper"

1) Commit themselves to providing unbiased coverage of the most important stories in Minnesota, drop political correctness as the primary objective, and stop insulting conservatives in editorials ...... Naaaah!

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reduce labor overhead by over 50%, cutting staff responsible for re-writing DFL talking point memos into news stories.

11:46 AM  
Anonymous john f not kerry said...

A really big bake sale.

8:29 PM  
Blogger Leo Pusateri said...

Man--my stomach hurts! ::laughing::

Thanks for the yuks!!

7:01 AM  

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