Saturday, October 25, 2008

Ain't Nobody's Business

In this post, Chad complains about the masses discussing his secret vote with him. His advice, answer as neutrally as you can and don't tip your hand.

I agree that it usually isn't worth the risk, effort, increase in blood pressure to explain your political position to a total stranger. So I have developed a different strategy when approached by some ubiquitous do-gooder questioning my voting plans:

UDG: Who are you going to vote for?

NIGP: I'm not voting.

UDG: What do you mean you're not voting? It's our most sacred rite.

NIGP: Voting is a complete waste of time. It's not as if my vote really counts.

UDG: What do you mean? Don't you remember Florida in 2000?

NIGP: Florida? Did it come down to one vote?

UDG: Not one, but it was as close as 100.

NIGP: So my vote really wouldn't have made a difference.

UDG (frustrated with that argument and trying another attack): Nihilist, you are always complaining about the government. If you don't vote, then you don't have the right to complain about your government.

NIGP: What article of the constitution says that?

UDG: It's common sense, it's not in the constitution.

NIGP: The constitution, specifically the bill of rights states:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech. . .

Complaining about the government is clearly free speech. And there's no qualifier suggesting only voters get it.

UDG: Millions of Americans died for your right.

NIGP: Right. They died so that I would have freedom. Do I really have freedom if I have no choice but to go out and vote? If I have to do this, that sounds dictatorial.

At this point the UDG usually tips their hand and makes a pitch for their guy.

UDG: But this election is important, you can't let that terrible ________ get elected to ________.

This is where I like to teach them a lesson.

NIGP: Maybe I will vote. I think I will vote for that terrible _________.

UDG: Why?

NIGP: I don't know, I haven't really thought it out. It's kind of funny, though. I wasn't even going to vote and now I'm cancelling out your vote. It's actually like I kind of convinced you not to vote. (ducks the punch usually coming at this point)

Remember, your vote doesn't really count for much. However, money talks.

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