Thursday, March 05, 2009

So, You’d Like to be Our Latex Salesman

The Obama recession has even hit the local unpaid blogosphere. This means that successful, award winning blogs, such as this one, are inundated with employment applications. To help separate the wheat from the chaff, we’ve come up with a simple true or false quiz to help us determine which applicants are Nihilist in Golf Pants material.

Today we received an especially impressive application from a blogger I will call, Educated Appendage:

Nihilist in Golf Pants Aptitude Test

Tom Cruise is gay: T

The Killer Swamp Rabbit that attacked Jimmy Carter acted alone: T (Although Dick Cheney may have been involved. At least I hope he was.)

Charlie Weis should be fired, NOW:
T

Ronnie James Dio sucks: F

A nickel is a lot of money, really:
T (Depending on how far backdated your stock options are.)

I will give the Nihilist free legal advice, regarding Nick Coleman, upon request: T (Already have.)

Producers of kid shows are all commies:
T (I will also add that I hate those fuckers.)

I will carry the Nihilist to victory in the MiLF: T

If I am ever invited to an event that is also attended by Mary Katharine Ham, I will invite Sisyphus to come along: T

The NARN’s Santa Claus interview is their best bit ever: F (My weather alert was the best ever. Santa was a close second)

I have won a Pulitzer Prize: F

Garrison Keillor is funny:
F

Any band with a stand-up bass is awesome: F (Thomson Twins had a stand up bass.)

I am happy to wash the Nihilist’s car for him: F

I have voted in favor of a school levy in Plymouth: F (Voted against 3 in AV too!)

The Hawaiian shirt is the height of fashion:
T

Parking tickets are fascist:
T

Well done. Now we just need to check his reference, Art Vandalay.

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