Thursday, February 14, 2013

If He Could Walk On Water

The media has made a big deal about Marco Rubio's disastrous speech this week.  He had flop sweat and cotton mouth during his response to President Obama's State of the Union address.

If only he could speak well, the media would likely praise him.  After all, Obama's entire presidency has consisted of high unemployment and low economic growth, yet everyone loves him.

The low point in Rubio's response came when, while discussing the failures of the Obama administration, he committed the sin of reaching for a glass of water.  I think Eddie Money once wrote a song about him:

I am Marco Rubio, and I'm a big time Republican.
I think the economy's bad, and the unemployment lines are jammed.
Obamacare will make us sick and the wars go on without end.
I was the one who voted for the guns, and put money in the rich man’s hand.


Gimme some water!
I'm for amnesty at the Mexican border.
Cool, cool water…
Gimme some water.
I need a little water…


Romney gave up so fast, then the torch passed to me one day,
Said, “You’re a big star man – time to take a stand –
You'll be runnin’ for President some day.”
So I sat to give a speech that would be heard across the land
Till the lights got hot, my mouth got dry, and my star crashed to the land
.

Gimme some water!
I'm for amnesty at the Mexican border.
Cool, cool water…
Gimme some water.

Oh, Jeez, I can’t control my glands!
I’m sweating like I just ran a marathon!
Now in 2016, I got no room to run!
Shouldn't have voted like I did for those NRA funds!

Hey, hey, yeah!

Gimme some water!
I'm for amnesty at the Mexican border.
Cool, cool water…
Gimme some water.

Can’t you… see them long white robes
Hangin’ from people who think like me?
It's not true, of course - but media's out in force
Republicans must stay a minority.
America elected a man no one understands –
Now let's pray – are we still allowed to pray?
Obama will kick my ass.
My campaign's dyin’ gasp, America could hear me say,

Gimme some water!
I'm for amnesty at the Mexican border.
Cool, cool water…
Gimme some water.

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